All Day Angry

Posted by on Dec 30, 2010 in Uncategorized | 21 Comments

These are some thoughts on anger that a recent conversation led me to pass along.

ANGER is easy.  A very simple emotion.  Witness the fact that every two year old uses it on a regular basis.

ANGER is deceptive – it makes you feel powerful because you are usually raining fire and brimstone on someone else.  You are probably upsetting them.  You might even make them cry.  That makes you feel in charge.

ANGER is cathartic – it allows you to relieve stress and feel immediately purged of the angst and anxiety you are feeling.  Yet again, Anger, The Great Pretender has tricked you into believing you are in control.

Anger is like a city broken into and left without walls. That’s from the Bible.  It demonstrates how truly vulnerable it makes you.

I am not saying that we never have a right to get angry.  What I am saying is we need to use our anger and not let our anger use us.

Some anger has value.  Sometimes it empowers you.  When someone is being attacked and you get angry and defend, it gives you adrenaline and power to be more effective. Anger – properly channeled – sometimes allows you to face down remarkable odds. If you are getting beat up by a big bully and you have to fight back being angry might help you overcome a difference in size and ability.  If you are angry enough to lose your senses and walk into a hail of bullets, however,  that usually doesn’t work out so well.

Sometimes appearing angry has value.  There are a lot of people who mistake kindness for weakness and don’t have enough on the ball to recognize ability or intelligence. All they understand is forcefulness.  Then TO APPEAR angry will back them up and make them re-think how they deal with you.

The thing is if you truly get angry and act in accordance therewith without taking a beat or thinking it through, you don’t think as well.  You are not as articulate, often you loose persuasive power because people read “Lunatic” and people stop listening.  (That’s happened to me more than once by the way : -)

I’m not saying we shouldn’t get angry but we should consider how angry we get, when we do it, how we express it and what, in the end, we are really trying to accomplish.  Are we simply looking hurt somebody or are we getting to someone to respond to you differently or see your point of view.

Besides if you are one of those people sporting AN ALL DAY ANGRY after a while it might get awfully lonely.

Yet again just a ten cent opinion.

21 Comments

  1. Terry Haynes-ATL
    December 30, 2010

    Totally understood. Same thing with pessimistic people. Keep a distance from it all. Looking over at your Facebook status how about getting her to read what you’ve just blogged. No names were mention so no slandering here (I think, not a lawyer). But maybe don’t show her. It may be something else to wallow about. Is she really a friend or an associate? Don’t spend your days worrying about petty siuations. Maybe she feels you are the person she can confide in and its coming out a different way. Tell her hoe you feel about the situation and see if some common ground can be made. Have a prosperous 2011!!

  2. Kris81
    December 30, 2010

    JLT I love the “angry face” LOL.
    I kind of felt like that the other day after dealing with a trying coworker. She complains and gets angry about every little thing that happens to us. But then I thought, wow, it must be tough being her and being so angry and frustrated all the time! Now it makes me laugh whenever she gets so infuriated I kind of picture her like a silly cartoon charecter. Its hard to take her seriously when she is like that.
    Wish I could show her this artcile, I think she could really benefit…!

    On the positive side, your advice about my district manager worked beyond well. I can tell she respects me more and a coworker said she was raving about me to her boss on the phone. It feels so awsome to have proved her wrong and now I kind of enjoy that its such a challenge with her. Now the pressures on the keep on her good side!

    @Ruthie- my mom and her new dog (a rescued half golden retriever and half poodle) are so happy. She named her gracie. Ill post a pic on here when she sends me one. Gracie and her brother and two sisters were abandoned in a potapotty right after they were born, so she had a rough start but now she has an awsome home. Thanks Ruthie!!!!!

    later guys
    xxoo

  3. Michelle from facebook
    December 30, 2010

    Tell her about herself. Sometimes some people dont know what they are doing wrong and sometimes good until its pointed out. If she makes you feel this way I’m qite sure you are irking somebody in some way and form. I know I do. I’ve been told I talk tooo much and too loud!!Just a thought Peace.

  4. judgelynn
    December 30, 2010

    That’s funny Michelle, people tell me I talk too much and talk too loudly too!!!! I’m working on it though . . .

  5. Sheila
    December 30, 2010

    Afternoon JL Happy Kwaanza!

    Thats some good stuff there JL. I will pass it on to someone i know.

    I thought to my self, self you know JL i dont get angry much at all, and I am glad about that. I think issues with my family might be the one thing that will put me in angry mode. I love them and will hurt a brick about em’

    Other folk can’t take me there, I hope i can hang on to that forever.

    Thanks again for the letter to us, that was nice, you are special, I hope you dont get sick of us saying that, but it is what it is .:)

    JL if i dont check in tomorrow, which i doubt this thang here like brushing my teeth, but just in case. I luv you for free! I want to say Happy New Years to you and your family.

    To my blog family Happy New Year also , just in case.

    Peace & Blessings

  6. Deseree
    December 30, 2010

    Judge your opinion would you say being angry and cmplaining is SORTA the same thing. Possible huh? In both ways one is upset because something is not going their way. It’s okay if you have a big mouth because you are a little person….my opinion lol

  7. Ms. E
    December 30, 2010

    Hello all..

    Great advice JL, considering how, when and why we are getting angry would most definitely require us to stop and think..

    …cool and calm is the path to guiding your mind back home
    the road back is much shorter and your patience may be longer
    you may even find that your weaknesses have grown much stronger
    a sence of humor, compassion, and honesty need to also be present
    so take all of Judge Lynn’s advice that has been given as lessons
    and remember if you’re incensed and feel you’re just about to sink
    just stop, take a deep breath, step back and THINK! 🙂

  8. Chi1202
    December 30, 2010

    Hi Judge,

    I’m a couple of days late…but I gotta tell you how much I appreciate the report card self-eval. I caught wind of it from your facebook page. I have dealt with so many women in that 50 something zone who feel that they can do whatever they want simply because of their age. They don’t change, don’t evolve, are keenly self “unaware” and it’s annoying. Often these ladies ruin relationships in families, step way over boundaries and everybody just deals with it because that’s the way they’ve always been. 50 something is by no means old which is exactly why it’s not a license to do whatever whenever. Had I seen this before Christmas I would purchased some copies and anonymously given them out for Christmas.

    Anyhow, said all that to say thank you to you and your mother.

    Blessings

  9. Avery
    December 30, 2010

    Judge that’s the face my 5 year old son made at me and my wife when we banned him from his WII!! We have hell on our hands!! And yes he was very angry. He’s the destructive angry type and the reason my wife vowed to not have anymore kids .

  10. Kelsea
    December 30, 2010

    Judge Lynn, if you could meet anyone famous or nomfamous, dead or alive who would it be? ME? Shakesphere and President Obama. Love to read Shakesphere because he can beat the hell out of a metaphor!! Just wander what mindset he had to come up with his wonderful stories. Obama is sexy, not to mention very intelligent and athletic!!

  11. judgelynn
    December 30, 2010

    Kelsea,

    Jesus – I think that speaks for itself,

    My grandmother on my father’s side – she was, I understood, an extraordinary woman who died before I was born – I’d like her to explain my father’s family to me, I’d like to know how she did what she did.

    Winston Churchill, brilliant, funny, fascinating and he was one of the first people who saw Hitler for who he was.

    Those three . . . in that order.

  12. Mini
    December 30, 2010

    Good day all, Nice piece on anger Judge Lynn. ALL DAY ANGER can also be unhealthy. I also like your choice of famous/infamous people. I would’t mind sitting in on a coversation between yourself and W.E.B Dubois. Two great minds.

    Peace

  13. kelsea
    December 30, 2010

    Judge Jesus is on my list too but you know sometimes one has to be careful with politics and religion. Great choices by the way.

  14. OhioRuthie
    December 30, 2010

    I hate being number 13LOL

    Cute photo Judge Lynn!!

    Kris so glad your mom got her puppy…I saw a golden/poodle mix the other day at the vets..a puppy mill rescue..only four weeks old…sooooo beyond cute!!!!!! I can’t wait to see a photo of your mom’s dog Gracie!!!!

    Piper new rescue cat is making amazing progress! Five days later and her skin is clearing up nicely….no more fleas..she’s eating a lot…can’t wait for her to fill out and her hair to fill in. In a day or two she should be able to come out among the rest of the animals.

    Joey the african grey got his new cage today thanks to his Santa Sela…he seems to really enjoy it.

    Happy Thursday all!

  15. Trevor
    December 30, 2010

    Judge do you know your fathers family. Are you close to any cousins 1st or 2nd. I’ve never seen you say anything about family besides the usual people. If I’m prying…sorry just askin’No ones family is perfect. My mothers side were snobs, thought they were better than everyone and all about material things. Father’s side was the fun side and still is until his very day. When I visit home I definitely make sure I see them. Drunks ex-cons a couple of college degrees mentally unstable but I’ll pick them over a bunch of stuck up @#$$# anyday Peace.

  16. Debbie
    December 31, 2010

    So you had a 30 minute visit with anger over 10 mins of complaints. Remember the very small box that was used on posters to write complaints in legible? Remember the box was very small because no one really wanted to hear or read thay BS.

  17. Carem
    December 31, 2010

    Are you gonna invite MAMA to watch you play a game of tennis or is it too early in the morning for her? Take care of dem 50ish year old bones lol

  18. Bre-Anna-VA.
    December 31, 2010

    Judge Lynn I’m 19 years old and I watched Divorce Court for the first time because the winter storm knocked off my satellite reception.

    Not judging your true character by the show but you personality came off to me as Domineering. I know it’s your show but you seem to be the type of person who strive to be the center of attention. Who knows you’e probably that way at home too. I don’t think you are egoist or egotist but my impressions were that wanted more response feedback and claps from the audience more than anything. Is your heart into it or its just a paycheck? My opinion. PS your hair is beautiful though and on that note……..

  19. Sean
    December 31, 2010

    Breanna I watched both re-runs today. What did she (Judge) do to make you think that way. She’s cool with woman swag thats all…myopinion. Too cool and I love it!!

  20. Lynn
    December 31, 2010

    Kris81 I am soooo glad things are going well. It may have been my advice but it was what you did that Made the difference. Keep up the good work!

  21. Arnell
    January 3, 2011

    THIS IS A VERY GOOD LETTER, MAKES YOU THINK, I MEAN REALLY THINK ABOUT HOW WE CONDUCT OURSELVES.

Leave a Reply