This was on my mind ...

Man of the House

I just had to share this.

Whenever my husband leaves town or will be away from home for a while he tells my oldest son “Will, You’re next in line. While I’m gone you are the man of the house.”

When he was young he thought it was cool. When I would ask him to help with his younger brother as the man of the house he was on point. But once he reached adolescence he began to question its meaning. Especially the other day when his father took his younger brother to a baseball game out of town and it was just me and Will.

His father said the same thing he always did. “While I’m gone you’re the man of the house.” My son Will responded as follows:

“That’s just dumb. I can’t tell her what to do. So what does it mean? I’m not the man of the house. I’m not in charge.”

All my husband did is say “remember what I said.”

Well, while hubby was gone I decided to paint the wall in the living room. I thought it best to do it in his absence since I had had a painter come and paint it three different colors three different times and I still wasn’t satisfied. (yeah, that’s right, I want what I want and I was going to work it till I got it)

Anyway while I was in the garage trying to get a ladder Will comes out and says “what are you doing?”

I say, “I’m getting a ladder to paint the wall.” He then took the ladder from me brought it in the house and set it up. I jump on the ladder and he says, “Mom, it’s not steady.” I say “Oh it will be okay, just hold it.”

He said “I’ll tell you what you get down and hold it for me I’ll get the top part.” And that’s what he did. When he finished he asked me if I was cool. I said “well I gotta wait for it to dry and do a second coat.” He says, “Well when you’re ready let me know. I’ll get the top part.”

As he left the room I hollered after him. “THAT RIGHT THERE IS WHAT YOUR FATHER WAS TALKING ABOUT: MAN OF THE HOUSE” What neither one of us could explain to him he did by imitation. He watched my husband and naturally followed suit.

I always get a lot of “who shot John” on Divorce Court about being the man of the house. Most of what I see is a claiming of rights without the taking of responsibilty. No matter what your view is on men as head of the household, none of it means a thing unless the care is there. No matter what else it means to you to be ‘the man of the house’ it must include taking responsibility for your family’s well being.

I had to share this because I complain about my hubby and kids a lot on the show. (and I tell you, they do get on my nerves – there’s a whole lot of “I want, I want I want” going on around here)

But I was so proud of my son and husband both. And I have never been able to really put it into words. It was what I wanted to tell that brother i yelled at the other day but didn’t have it together enough to say.

That’s why you fellas have got to be there. No spreading your seed and walking off. In the house. Involved. Invaluable.

And to all of you who are (and there are a lot of you) : Mad props!!!

Peace.

More from JudgeLynn

Divorce Court

Speaking

Words

Best of Judge Lynn

Books

*Audiobook Version*
My Mother's Rules" is a humorous, easy to follow self-help guide to managing your emotional life.

My Mother's Rules" is a humorous, easy to follow self-help guide to managing your emotional life.

Using lessons learned on the bench along with humorous anecdotes from her own 30 year marriage, Judge Lynn Toler wrote "Making Marriage Work" as a logical and simple guide to bringing back the practicality lost in relationships over the years.

Connect with Judge Lynn

Man of the House

Posted by on Oct 12, 2008 in The Blog | 3 Comments

I just had to share this. Whenever my husband leaves town or will be away from home for a while he tells my oldest son “Will, You’re next in line. While I’m gone you are the man of the house.” When he was young he thought it was cool. When I would ask him to […]