Cooler Heads

First, I want to say that the mall thing went as well as could be expected. I put them in the right department and then I went to look at purses. Little static when I got back. “I want this” “They don’t have that”

My response was soul calming. “Find it here or find it on line. Let’s eat.” It was, I must say, a quiet lunch but I felt fine. And to be fair 14 perked up a bit when I fed him. New lesson: Never talk a hungry adolescent anywhere.

They said thank you though at the end. So all is well.

09 Your crew is behind you. I don’t know your boss or how the conversation went. But yours is a problem a lot of people run into so I thought I’d give my ten cents worth:

1) never let your hurt feelings do your talking for you. Emotions are not good business partners. They don’t understand money.

2) Let that first wave go by then look at your situation from your employers eyes Is there a reason switching days is not doable for her? Knowledge is power. Ask what the issue is with an eye toward resolving the matter to both of your advantage.

3) Nothing to lose by having a calm rational conversation in which you remind her of what you’ve done and how loyal an employee you’ve been.

4. Remember when people hurt your feelings 9 times out of 10 it has more to do with what they’re dealing with than you.

5. Even if her problem is you find out what and why. That will do one of two things: a) tell you she does not appreciate you – which means it’s her bad or b) tells you where you can improve next time. (eg what was your approach? – did you TELL her what days you could work or ASK if you could switch? People get their noses out of joint for the smallest of reasons.)

6. Remember no matter how an employment situation turns out – no one and I mean no one – defines who you are other than you.

And just keep this in mind – twice in my life jobs went poof on me. One (at a law firm I could see the writing on the wall. They didn’t see me as partner material – I wasn’t going to bring in clients) – So in looking for a fall back position I ran for judge.

Power of Attorney was my first TV show. Got cancelled after 4 months. I swear I laid on the kitchen floor when they told me. It was my birthday. Took a while but I got DC.

Here’s my take on that. God moves me when I don’t have enough sense to move myself. All my best decisions were a function of getting out ahead of a problem I saw coming or in an aggressive – BUT POSITIVE – response to an unfortunate situation . If not for these unfortunate situations I’d still be working in a firm and hating every minute of it.

Don’t get me wrong I am not some zen monk who glides through trouble like a soaring eagle. I am just as vulnerable as the next guy. And if you read my book you know stability is never a given with me.

All I’m saying is let cooler heads prevail. You have the right to feel the way you do but you also have the power to respond with rationality and reason.

Good luck. We are all pulling for you.