Let's Hear it For The Boys!
I received a great message from one of the men who read my blog on MySpace. Which, I must say, made me very happy because I love to hear from the guys.
Anyway, he said he liked the show where the guy with the sunglasses (he had an eye problem) and dreads was on his show and I took his wife to task because her complaint was that “he was too nice.” Rarely do I say people are stupid on the show. I say a lot of negative things as they apply but I think stupid is a very deep thing to call someone. I made an exception in her case.
This guy on MySpace said he would like me to put together a “Good Guy” tape that highlighted the good men that come on the show. I thought that was a good idea and I will pass it along. (whether the powers that be agree to do it is another thing but there is no harm in asking)
Having raised that issue, I would like to take this opportunity to address something that bothers me about the show. I pay attention, you know, to what we do on the show and how it appears. And sometimes I get the “You are too hard on the men thing” and I would like to reply to that perception. (which I understand)
1. The main reason it appears this way is that we can only tape the cases we get. And as a rule women who have been “done wrong” are more willing to come on the show that men in similar situations. Guys are less likely to want to make the ‘she cheated on me and made of fool of me’ thing public. Some are, but the ‘he did me wrong’ cases come in at a much higher rate than the ‘she did me wrong’ cases. I can only work with what I get.
2. Some people also note that I tend to start with the woman much more often than I start with the guy. That’s true (although we’ve been trying hard to change that up) But the reason we start with the women more often is that I have about 20 minutes of air time with the couple (Half hour show but you have to factor in commercials). So the biggest criteria for who we start with is: who can get the bare bones of the story out the quickest and the cleanest.
Well, typically women talk a lot more about their problems, You know what we do. Tell everybody and they momma what’s going on (yea, that’s right ladies we need to go ahead and cop to that!! : ) I am, as Big E is found of saying, quite “the reporter” Once he asked me: “Is there anything that goes on in this house that your mother doesn’t know about?”
I smiled.
So it’s more time efficient to talk to someone who can get the story out quickly. Men, we have found, are better counter punchers. They are not as used to put ting their business in the street but they will defend themselves. So we start with the person who can get the ball rolling.
OF COURSE THESE ARE ALL GENERALIZATIONS – I GET THAT – BUT I HAVE TO WORK WITH THE HORMONES THAT APPEAR BEFORE ME. WE TAKE IT CASE BY CASE BUT THIS IS OFTEN HOW IT SHAKES OUT.
3. The show takes about 40 minutes to tape and they only use about half of that. The guys who do admit to being triflin are usually much more open and up front about it. So that’s easier to engage. when I wrestle around with the women to get an admission it is more convoluted and less interesting (and much harder work – by the way) So some of that gets cut out in the interest of time.
So that’s my explanation for the skewed point of view some might come away with. Not my intention. I try hard to be fair and balanced. But I can only work with the cases I get.
Now back to the guy that wanted the good guy tape. Like I said I’ll ask cause I think it is a great idea. Also I was going to add to this post a blog I did on MySpace a while back entitled “Testosterone, What it Is and Why I Like It” Of course I can’t find it! I have lots of posts on there. Maybe one day when I have more time I will launch a search for it and re-post it.
So that’s my 10 cents worth today. I will be off line tomorrow and over the weekend. Things to do, but I will be back on Monday with a full report. You guys have a great weekend.
Peace.