Get Your Mind Right

That’s a mommism: something my mother used to tell me all of the time. It’s something you do in anticipation of stressful times. The DMV example is the one I use the most because it is so universal:

My Mom and I were standing in line at the DMV (and everybody knows how that goes – and exercise in bureaucratic bullying at its finest). Anyway she could see that I was getting impatient which leads to agitated which leads to misbehavior. She leaned in and said: “Get your mind right. This is what it is. You knew it before you came. The people who work in here did not think this up so you can not be short with them. Tell yourself: I am going to be here two hours and it’s okay. Think, read, talk but do not ruminate over how agitating and ill-designed the process is. That doesn’t hurt them but it will wear you out and it won’t change a thing.”

I speak of getting your mind right because it is the holidays and I have gotten a couple of question about handling the stress of it.

Get your mind right.

1. Accept that nothing is perfect including you and the holidays won’t be either. There will be hitches and glitches mix ups and mess ups. Laugh.

2. Remember the reason for the season whatever it may be at your house.

3. Remind those who live with you of point number 2.

4. Separate ‘You’ from ‘What You You Do.’ How perfect you make things is not an indication of your love for your family or your personal worth.

5. Remind those you live with of point 4.

6. Delegate.

and when all else fails

7. Eliminate: Won’t nobody die if their are no rolls at diner or wreaths on the door. I’m just saying. Over the years I have managed to lower expectations. Believe you me that’s a gift: Happy mommy instead of stressed mommy. I set the tone!

So like I said:

Get Your Mind Right.