Bad Behavior

I saw a promo on TV where a news show is going to talk about bad behavior, a segment inspired by the events of this month. (Kanye, Serena, etc.) They also showed a clip of a singer (some famous actor who has a group – don’t recall the name) who jumped in a crowd to challenge a fan.

That Kanye thing was just ridiculous and rude – and he has a track record of that. And Serena was out of line and you can’t jump into a crowd and attack fans. I am certainly not defending that behavior. But what I want us to watch is what we get out of these things. Be careful about listening to experts who say they know the what, why and how about stuff.

Theories on their behavior and that of society in general, I am sure, will abound. Everybody will blame this thing or that thing. Anything from the permissive parenthood common to Generation X to television to personal arrogance to money . . . .

The thing I worry about is a) lumping different things together and finding a one theory to address it all and b) defining and individual from one bit of their life.

Life is complicated and people can do similar things for a whole lot of different reasons. Moreover I don’t think one ought to be defined by his or her worst moment.

Typically one’s worst moments are not memorialized on tape. But when you are famous or even a regular person caught up in this video intense You Tube technologically advanced world, your worst moment can become public in a split second. A pattern of conduct tends to demonstrate one thing and isolated outburst tends to demonstrate another.

My request?

1. Remember there is no one simple answer for anything. We want that – but it’s not like that. A whole lot of factors play into any decision people make. More importantly most people’s worst moments have nothing to do with what they think and no decision is made at all – it’s all about how they feel and how much control they have over their emotions.

2. Shall we re-examine the notion of a role model? Certainly those of us in the public eye have an obligation to step up out moral and ethical game because people – including children – are watching. But I don’t teach my kids to have role models – That is to say pick someone you like and be like him.

I believe in strategic theft. You watch everybody and to the extent that they have a valuable characteristic watch emulate that. Not their lives. There is something wrong with everybody. Picking heros is a dangerous business. Some of the most successful important productive and generous people in this world have had some very bad habits.

3. Certainly there can be trends in the way society conducts itself. I do believe we are feeling a bit more entitled these days and that we have a court room culture in which we sue for everything and that we have a low tolerance level for discomfort. We insult easily, get offended quickly and start screaming sooner. And we need to work on that.

Anyway, I wrote this because pundits scare me as does the need to fill up all of the space we now have on TV and the internet to pick apart stuff and make big news out of everything. They get 10 cents worth of information and give you 20 dollars worth of opinion.

I’m just saying . . . . .

Peace.