Productive

I have been very productive today. Got the kids up and out. Took 14 to school early (he’s trying to dig his way out of the academic hole he is in). Went to the grocery store, cleaned up the kitchen, played tennis for an hour and am about to call my mother.

Scheduling more trips out of town. Hope to do a Southern swing book tour, but I am not sure if the logistics will work out. Trying to put things together (which feels odd because I am working hard to do something I can’t stand which is travel) But anyway. . . .

Special hello to Jan. My thoughts are with you.

I see from posts here and elsewhere some women are really out there struggling with their home situation. It’s so hard to know what to say. Great advice for one might be the worst thing in the world for another. When you say that your husband is the kind that likes to get back at you it’s impossible to know what the right thing is.

Get help if you need it. Domestic abuse centers deal with all kinds of things and have all kinds of resources. A man does not have to be actively pounding on you for them to help.

All I can say generally is – positive change is not necessarily some huge 180 degree shift. Sometimes you can work the edges. Make small changes that make you feel better and stronger. Baby steps. But if you feel threatened get help and not just from some opinionated judge on the internet (me). I am a poor substitute for the real thing.

In the interim – believe this – most women have more strength and power than they know. Don’t get defeated. Don’t give up. Even if you are not in a position to change what you do right now you can decide how you want to feel about who you are and not buy what he’s selling you. It’s not easy but it can be done. Pity the fool who can only feel good by making someone else feel bad.