The Hinterland of My Devotion: WOW

Posted by on Apr 23, 2010 in The Blog, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Thank you Micca. You know, I have loved Sade in the past but had not listened to any of her new stuff. Soldier of Love. Oh My. The lyrics!!!!!!

Still wading through all of the song recommendations that I have gotten. My April surprise is delayed but still coming. Still working on my new website. I acknowledge that my prototype sent to my fan club members met with a tepid response. So I made changes based on your concerns. But you know your girl gets bored easily so I am forging ahead.

Already talked to Duchess this morning. My tennis game might be cancelled but I’m not sweating it because I have worked out every day this week and my legs hurt. You know I went to the doctor the other day for my annual and found that I have gained weight from last year even though I am working out more? My eating habits are better too. What’s up with that?

I read a story the other day that broke my heart. A young lady killed herself because she felt she could not live up to her expectations. She was good at everything she did and felt pressured to maintain that excellence no mater what. Her family was supportive and not pushy. She just felt that SHE couldn’t let anyone down.

That one hit close to home. Control freak and closet perfectionist that I am I want to please everybody. Of course, this applies only to matters of work and the kids – I am at peace with my domestic limitations. In fact I find myself amused more often than not by the gravity of my failures in that realm.

I don’t feel like ending it of course, ( I was devastated for her and her family) but I do have this amazing ability to feel TEMPORARILY worthless when faced with failure. It drives E to distraction. Once I did something wrong and I said to him, all flustered and whatnot, “I never do anything right!.”

He shook his head and said “Baby, I will never figure out how you keep score.”

I don’t stay that way long but I shouldn’t go there at all so, as I mentioned on Facebook one day, I am going to make an effort to “Ride the Roller Coaster Well.” Breath in my successes and exhale my failures.

What can I say? I’m working on it.

I love this Photo booth thing on my Mac. I can catch nonsense expressions at random!!!

Have a good weekend.

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