I am a woman prone to extremes. Now that I have my picture up I’m going to take it all the way. Here’s a video of me on the morning news in Phoenix yesterday. You have to check this out though. Four years on TV and I still don’t know what camera to look at AND I did my own hair. Any of you remember Alfalfa? How sad.
This was on my mind ...
Experience
July 17, 2009 · 6:52 AM ET
You can learn from just about anyone or anything. Experience, though an outstanding teacher, can also be an expensive one. If you have to learn all of your mistakes through trial and error it could get pricey.
But if you can eavesdrop on the lessons experience is teaching others, you get it’s wisdom without the cost of tuition which is often times quite high.
When we talk of celebrity tragedy we see the great loss and mourn that. People who have added to history and culture and have high profiles are most certainly missed when they pass. But the thing that we need to remember is that The Rule of Inclusion never gets repealed.
The Rule of Inclusion is this. Though we may treat the famous as special the laws of physics medicine and nature do not. But sometimes it feels that way especially to those who have a life in which everyone around them says “Yes”
I heard Deepok Chopra the other night on TV talking about Michael Jackson’s alleged dependence on drugs. He said when he would press him on the issue MJ would stop returning calls.
When Princess Diana died amidst all the conspiracy theories I heard only twice that the one person with his seat belt on in the car made it. I don’t know what happened as far as conspiracies. I do know that there was booze and speed and no seat belts. I am not blaming at all. Her death was a tremendous loss. But I tell you what, what I did tell one young lady I was mentoring at the time was. ‘Nobody is immune to the basic rules of life. Obey them even when the world says you’re special.’
Back to MJ. Though the rest of us don’t have an entourage or staff and the money to seclude ourselves and hire a full time personal doctor, we all have the ability to turn a deaf ear to those who tell us things we do not want to hear. It never hurts to listen and to do so with an open mind. Of course, you can’t take everything to heart. You have to understand that person’s perspective. Some people tell you stuff just to hurt you. But I see all commentary – no matter the source or the intent – as instructional even from people who don’t like me.
My mother taught me this one. Look for the small grain of truth that may lie in any insult. If it’s there be aware of and, if possible, conquer it. That way people who sought to hurt you end up helping you.
Here’s an example. I was riding down a residential street once when I was young and some guy beeped and yelled at me because he felt I was driving to fast. I called him a name – not to him but to mom – “who does that a**hole thinks he is,” I said, “the police?”
Mom said. “You need to turn around and thank that man. He just did you a favor. You were driving to fast.”
Silly story but good point. I was just thinking about it so I thought I would say it.
All is well at Casa Toler. The Room is about to go down for the count. I am a tough customer once angered.
Check out my blog on judgelynn.com Sooner or later I am going to figure out the picture thing and once I do you’ll get the story and a visual.
Okay people, I am going to try this thing again. At one of my many trips to the airport I meant some one interesting.
Apparently it was. I posted it and all I got was gibberish.
Moving Up (Slowly)
July 16, 2009 · 11:35 AM ET
Welcome yet again. Yesterday I tried to post pictures but it appears I am not there yet. My oldest son is downstairs with his buddies where I usually work so I am on the floor in my bedroom. By the way The Room, is getting a well deserved butt whipping. I should have her fully contained and under wraps by tomorrow. WIll try to get before and after pictures to you. Right now I am going to spend the next (probably 2 hours) trying to upload a video. Wish me luck.
ps I just saw the first comments. Ruthie I knew I could count on you and my crew. Please be patient with me while I get this thing together!!!!
Murph Church
June 25, 2009 · 8:09 PM ET
I went to a gathering put together by Murph Community AME Church. It was a group discussing domestic violence, providing info and support.
I was the keynote speaker. Spent some time writing my speech. Though I saw several hundred domestic violence cases every year when I was a judge in Cleveland, was on the board of a domestic violence center and even eventually won The Humanitarian of the Year Award from them (which is the one award I received I am the most proud of along with ringing the Liberty Bell) I still like to do research, catch up on the newest inof. etc. before I spend people hard earned Saturday afternoon rest period on me.
Worked on the speech for a week. Got there and didn’t even give it. Three women came up and talked about their experiences as survivors. One sang, one spoke one just nodded. But they were all so powerful my speech suddenly seemed antiseptic.
So I didn’t use it and spoke from my heart.
Great group. Great afternoon. Sometimes the things you do for free pay you the most.
Anyway, I will be hopping today. Trying to button up the house and get to LA to work on WEDLOCK OR DEADLOCK.
My next surprise is looking closer and closer to coming to fruition. You have no idea how hard it is for a chatty keep no secrets babe like me to keep a secret that I think is this cool. If I can pull it off it will be (I believe – not absolutely sure) will be a TV first.
Anyway, wish your girl strength and luck.
Flying. . . Trying . . .
What's Up
June 25, 2009 · 11:49 AM ET
In my case the answer is everything! Love being on the back side of a show. Everyday there is something new. Did a photo shoot for the new book I have coming out in September PUT IT IN WRITING. Now back to Wedlock or Deadlock.
Thanks for all of the congrats and kudos. Just so you know AS PROMISED you guys were the first to find out about the Chaka thing since I posted in real time.
Hope you guys are all doing well. I am going to be on Ruthie’s show “You Be the Judge ” in July. I’ll give you the date when I talk to my assistant. She is in charge of all things Lynn. Some days I do not know what I’m doing until I get a call from her.
You all take it nice and easy but as you know I NEVER EVER DO NOTHIN NICE AND EASY I DO IT NICE AND ROUGH! Just kidding. I was watching the Tina Turner story when I was correcting scripts last night in my hotel room. I love that movie – that story – Tina Turner and Angela Basset.
Well back to work.
Peace.
More from JudgeLynn
Books
You’ve asked. She’s answered. In Dear Sonali, Judge Lynn speaks to all the young women who call her Mom2 or the Auntie in their Head.
My Mother's Rules" is a humorous, easy to follow self-help guide to managing your emotional life.
Using lessons learned on the bench along with humorous anecdotes from her own 30 year marriage, Judge Lynn Toler wrote "Making Marriage Work" as a logical and simple guide to bringing back the practicality lost in relationships over the years.
About
Judge Lynn Toler became the host of the longest running television court program, "Divorce Court" in 2006. Prior to that, Judge Lynn Toler graduated from Harvard University and The University of Pennsylvania Law School. She began practicing law in Cleveland in 1984. In 1993, at the age of 33, she was elected judge of The Cleveland Heights Municipal Court. Judge Toler volunteered actively in her community creating innovative programs for young offenders such as Woman Talk, a program designed to intensively mentor young, at-risk girls.
Toler also headed the Cleveland Heights Coordinated Community Response to Violence against Women, a countywide initiative for the coordination of community resources to assist women who are victims of violence. She was also active as an advisory board member for Templum House, a battered women's shelter. As a result of her work in the area of domestic violence in 2002, she was awarded The Humanitarian of the Year Award from The Cleveland Domestic Violence Center.
Judge Toler's dedication to ending domestic violence continues. Currently, she is on the Board of GoPurple.org, a non-profit organization that addresses the issue of domestic violence through education. GoPurple.Org sends educators into classrooms teaching students about healthy relationships, signs of potentially abusive relationships, and ways to help both themselves and others who are in abusive situations.
Judge Toler has served as an adjunct professor at Ursuline College, where she created and taught courses on Civil Rights Law, and Women and the Law. She was also a frequent instructor for the Ohio Judicial College, where she helped create and taught continuing judicial education course for other judges.
Judge Toler is the author of three books including her most recent "Making Marriage Work: New Rules for an Old Institution." Her first, "My Mother's Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius" published in 2006, is a humorous memoir in which Judge Lynn recounts a childhood lived in the shadow of mental illness and provides a practical guide to the emotional lessons learned from that experience. And her time on the bench. Her second book, "Put It In Writing," coauthored with Deborah Hutchison, was published in September, 2009. It gives readers concrete, conflict-free solutions to the difficult situations that arise between family and friends.
Judge Toler has written for a variety of magazines including Divorce Magazine published through out the United States and Canada. In 2009, Judge Toler was given The Voice of Freedom Award by the Philadelphia Chapter of the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. joining former honorees Colin Powell and Vice President Al Gore, in ringing the Liberty Bell on Martin Luther King Day.
Currently, Judge Toler appears regularly as a guest expert on WeTV's Marriage Bootcamp. Born on October 25, 1959, she has been married to Eric Mumford since April, 1989. She has two sons and four stepsons.
Connect with Judge Lynn
Going For Broke
I am a woman prone to extremes. Now that I have my picture up I’m going to take it all the way. Here’s a video of me on the morning news in Phoenix yesterday. You have to check this out though. Four years on TV and I still don’t know what camera to look at […]
Experience
You can learn from just about anyone or anything. Experience, though an outstanding teacher, can also be an expensive one. If you have to learn all of your mistakes through trial and error it could get pricey. But if you can eavesdrop on the lessons experience is teaching others, you get it’s wisdom without the […]
Moving Up (Slowly)
Welcome yet again. Yesterday I tried to post pictures but it appears I am not there yet. My oldest son is downstairs with his buddies where I usually work so I am on the floor in my bedroom. By the way The Room, is getting a well deserved butt whipping. I should have her fully […]
Murph Church
I went to a gathering put together by Murph Community AME Church. It was a group discussing domestic violence, providing info and support. I was the keynote speaker. Spent some time writing my speech. Though I saw several hundred domestic violence cases every year when I was a judge in Cleveland, was on the board […]
What's Up
In my case the answer is everything! Love being on the back side of a show. Everyday there is something new. Did a photo shoot for the new book I have coming out in September PUT IT IN WRITING. Now back to Wedlock or Deadlock. Thanks for all of the congrats and kudos. Just so […]